Sunday, January 18, 2009

Reality TV (2)

Statistics showed that my reality tv show was such a success, therefore the decision has been made to publish a second episode.. And here it goes..

It all starts when my father somehow finds out that my sister skipped 2 classes this week so he lets her know in a very clear and loud tone that she’s grounded , no friends, no gym, no malls till the end of her finals. She storms into the room to find me and my little sister watching tv. She closes the door the way you close the door when you want to share a secret, and says “ok, that’s it. I can’t take it any more.. I wanna be free , do whatever I want, go wherever I want, and study whatever the hell I want .. And its not happening in this house.. Girls don’t you see! They are totally controlling us! We have to live somewhere else! Like for example ITALY!!!!!”
And of course me and my little sister are laughing like crazy , I mean seriously.. ITALY?!
She takes off her shoes and starts making a plan to escape to Italy..

She starts talking to me saying “ ok , you know how to transfer money from dad’s bank account to your account cuz you know all the numbers and stuff right?”
I say “right”
She says “ so you should wait until we go to Jeddah in the weekend and you transfer as much money as you can , half to your account and half to mine” then she looks at my little sister and says “ don’t worry , we’ll give you some”

Now she’s talking to both of us continuing her plan “then we have to go to the mall cuz it’s the only place that allows us to be as late as we want and our family wont even expect us to go home early so they wont be checking on us or anything.. You see , we don’t really have to go to the mall , we’ll just tell them that that’s where we’re going. But in fact we’re going to the airport”
Me and my little sister are still laughing..

She goes to details now “ look girls, if you want some other place suite yourself but I’m going to Italy. Anyway , we’ll need to change our names.. Ummm.. Mine will be Guadalupe. and if any one of you tow goes to another country and I want to call her , I should first make sure that the family didn’t find her and then find me when I call her. So I’ll text her first just saying “Guada” and if I get a text back saying “lupe” I’ll know its you girls”

I really don’t know why does that has to be her new name.. I think it’s because of too much exposure to Mexican tv series in her childhood. So I think when the next Arab generations have such plans they’ll use Turk names ..

Going back to her details “ and I’ll buy a belly dance suite and pack it in my hand bag , so when we’re close to Italy , I’ll wear it and when we land in Italy , I’ll dance my way down the plane stairs celebrating my freedom
Me and my little sister are still laughing and she leaves the room with every intention to put her plan to work.

In another day you’ll see me suddenly kick the blanket and stand up on the bed holding the alarm clock in my hand exactly like this..

Then after freezing like that for minutes , I storm out of the room screaming out loud “ OH MY GOD !!.. OH MY GOD!! .. OH MY GOD!!.. It’s 6 and my final exam is 8 and I didn’t study anything , not even one word! ..OH MY GOD .. IT’S 6 .. How could I sleep all that time?? How? How? HOOOOOW?!!!!”
My sister looks at me till I finish all the drama then says “you crazy person ! Look at the window, it’s 6:00 pm

The camera is back to my room , but now it’s 3:00 am and I’m closing my book and going to bed all ready for the final tomorrow..
After a while.. It’s 3:40 and I’m still up and all I can hear is TIC .. TOK.. TIC.. TOK the fuckin clock on the wall.. I try to keep it off my mind and it’s starting to work .. Finally I’ll get some sleep.. But now it’s 4:10 and I can hear a dog barking in the street so I start thinking about how dogs live out there in streets .. Poor things.. The dog keeps barking and now I’m thinking “ok.. It’s not a big deal, it’ll stop now” but it keeps going on and on and on and my anger is building up.. Now I’m pressing the pillow tight on my head but still I can hear it barking.. now it’s 5:00 am and I get off my bed in one move and open the window and stick almost all the upper half of my body out and shout my head off “SHUT UUUUUUUP YOU FUCKIN DOOOG!!!!” and it actually shuts up :)


Errant said...

ha ha ha ha ... your final exam .. that is such a funny story, it happens a lot .. especially when your so worried, or you have gone through a similar experience where you came to the exam one hour later !!! or when you know that you didn't study at all and the feeling of guilt is so overwhelming .. you do stuff like that ..

your sis is such a genius when it comes to plans.. but tell her plz can i join in? see what you'll get : 1- dad's money !!
2- another mind to think .. that mean extra tricks !!
3- a belly dancer .. so we can dance our way down the plane and then plan for our carrier their starting as Arab belly dancers !!

i'm waiting for more episode .. that was very fun to read ..

Cooookies said...

hehe im begning to like ur sister :P

On-The-Rocks said...

your sister is a funny person yet dreamy, she's individualistic, i like it!!!

the dog is annoying, i love dogs but the quiet ones and not the barking ones specially for no reason...

Anonymous said...

I like the randoms! cuz at some places one can relate to them self!

Ego said...

hey !! missing the translation final was such a good experience, how else would i know this fact about myself that i react in a cool way and laugh like hell when i'm in a tricky situation like coming to the final 1 hour late !!
and studying only 4 authers out of 17 for the other final feels GREAT especially if those 4 were the only ones on the exam :)

and i talked to my sis and she says you're more than welcome and the belly dancing carrier is such a good idea and she'll consider it lol..

Ego said...

cookies, thnx :)

on the rocks,
yeah she's a really funny person, and quite a good planner too lol..

thnx a lot :)

Rice Candy said...

ha ha! you are funny.

Ego said...

thnx rice candy :)

Nani_37 said...

'then she looks at my little sister and says “ don’t worry , we’ll give you some”' .. LOOL she didn't even miss bribing the young sister

And the fuck-you-you'll-never-go-to-sleep barking is something our dog does some nights ... good thing we have sound proof windows

Looking forward for the next episode :)