Thursday, February 25, 2010

Mrs. Freak

Confusing huh?!
Well.. that’s how you’d feel around my “female” boss. I guess it’s her turn now to get the spotlight.
I couldn’t get any more accurate picture to represent her than the one you see above. The woman literally has two characters!
Let me clear it out for you, she is British with a Saudi citizenship which leaves us with the British Heather and the Saudi A.J and I have to deal with them as one person and that’d be my boss!
Heather is a fun loving person and a dork in a very “Michael Scott” way. (for those who don’t know who is he, he is the boss in “The Office” .

I’ll post an episode later as a clarification for this post) actually a little quick comparison won’t hurt..
Michael Scott and Heather are the same… exactly how??

Well, they both seem to confuse working with YouTubing which leads them to spend their work hours doing a good job working very hard on Youtube.

They both love any music produced by any black people thinking that they are the coolest creatures ever existed.

They both say the dorkiest things ever like “see ya later alligator”, or just shoot a comment during a completely irrelevant conversation (like the legendary line of Michael “that’s what she said”) which by mere chance could turn out to be a hilarious joke or most of the times could end up making no sense at all.
check out this video loooooool

I think that they both are the only managers in the world who search jokes on the internet just to add a fun twist to a meeting, not to mention their way of holding a meeting!

that's what Michael said to Toby when he ruined a fun thing he was doing and I just could swear that Heather said the same thing in her mind to our wet blanket Nelly when she had such a dramatic meltdown during a "fun" meeting!

The Saudi Heather aka “A.J” could perfectly fit in Taliban. The way she acts around Saudi men is unbelievable! She tries too hard to show respect that she almost bows while talking to them. It’s too humiliating to watch that it makes me sick.

And she would make a very good example of a real life Mr. Burns from “The Simpsons” specially the hand gesture while being thoughtful of a serious issue.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Mr. Creep

I thinks its about time I start talking about this job of mine but please don’t even think about asking me what exactly it is that am doing cuz I’ve got no clue!

The work environment is like the ultimate mixture of “The Office” and “Ugly Betty” 
And as you may know , its like any other work place in this country, there’s a male-side and a female-side, each with different staff and boss and everything..
I’ll leave talking about all that for later posts .. today I’ll just focus on the wannabe boss. The regional manager of the male side is totally dying to boss the female employees, especially that they’re all singles. Some of them are stupid enough to treat him like a boss , they just keep forgetting that we have our own freak boss. for us he’s just another ugly employee.

So he’s our Daniel meade (ugly Betty’s boss). As you can see, they’re almost the same .. they’re both huge womanizers, have their own effect on women, and with a shiny and obvious sense of fashion!!! In fact you may say that the only difference is that our Daniel takes good care of his eyes and he’s got some distinguished stalking skills, the man is a total creep, like if u skip work one day and go for a cuppa coffee, you’ll definitely run into him in starbucks or if you go shopping you’ll find him in the mall, I guess even if you go to your gramma you’ll find him paying her a visit.. I’ll tell the girls to try that and see what happens!

I wish I could get u a bigger picture of this beauty but this is all I could steal from his facebook account. And in case you’re wondering how am I not worried about posting his personal pic in here , I’ll tell you its for the following reasons:
*He’s totally not into blogging, so I don’t think he’ll ever see this.
*Even if he ever came across my blog, he wouldn’t understand half of what am saying here and he’d probably think that there’s a hot mysteries girl with a huge crush on him that she’s posting his pic on her page!! Believe me … his self-esteem is that high!
*Even if he understood that I trash talked him, he wouldn’t do anything about it cuz ppl here don’t know its an option to sue over something like this.. so am ok :D

he could really relate to this song (RADIOHEAD - CREEP) .. i love it.. thnx Dwight for the song ;P

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas-Goth !

Ok I’m not much of a weddings lover but I had to attend my uncle’s wedding and it is very important to point out that it was on Christmas eve…
Ok we’re Muslims and Christmas isn’t our thing, we don’t celebrate it and all but I was surprised to see how the christmas spirit was really there in that wedding… how was it there? This is what this post is all about!

Of course when I got there with my mom and sisters my mom insisted that we step by a table where some relative are setting just to say hi and all.. ok we’re heading towards the table but am spotting something weird there .. WTF is that thing on the chair?? I ask my sis, and for my surprise she answers “that’s my uncle’s wife !! WHAT you don’t recognize her??” (other uncle's wife)
Ok , seriously !! a Goth called asking for the missing ornament from the top of his Christmas tree!!
I’ve never seen anyone in my whole life combining Christmas with Goth styles so successfully! She was wearing a red velvet dress the shape of the tree>> sooo christmasy !!
The dress has these black lace sleeves and a couple of black velvet stripes . accessorizing herself , she chose to wear a big black bead necklace. The makeup was just black eyeshadow with a touch of red the shape of a bird wing and black lipstick>>> sooo Goth!!

Here’s a portrait of the dress and necklace just to make it clear .. and please don’t think that am a lousy drawer , it really looks this hideous!

Really she should consider a job as a Halloween stylist .. I mean she’s got it!!

Then there was that guest , she was wearing these exact same shoes in gold!

Ok , you think you’ve seen these shoes before?? Yeah you’re right , they’re Elf shoes.. if you don’t believe me you can see for yourself. Here’s a pic of a Christmas card with a drawing of elf shoes. You can’t miss the resemblance , can you?!

the girl was doing these shocking crazy dance moves, i guess its the elf shoes magic lol

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

too GORGEOUS for u ?!

Hey people..

Am sure that you’ve noticed the fuss that’s happening all over the web about Adam Lambert’s “spicy” performance in the AMA!
He was supposed to be on a show aired on ABC after the AMA but guess what? They banned him from being on their network because of his “unexpected” performance!! Really?!! Unexpected? Is that the best you could come up with, losers?!
I mean why is it totally fine when what’s her face is almost performing porn on stage? Am quite sure that it was a stupid man behind this attitude , cuz as long as the unexpected stuff involve girls doing god knows what , it’s just entertainment. But when it’s a completely gorgeous guy doing a homosexual lil thing, it’s not ok at all !
And I thought that anyone who’s this gorgeous could go through anything without being stopped at any point… I mean people should thank him for looking this hot and breath- taking!! Am not all for guys in eyeliner, but have you ever seen anyone and I mean ANYONE look this hot in eyeliner?! If yes , please tell me who cuz am getting obsessed about Adam.

If you haven't got Adam's album yet, then WTF are you waiting for?!
here are my recommendations:
For Your Entertainment
If I Had You
Broken Open
Time For Miracles
Oh.. what the hell am i talking about?! the whole thing is a blast dont miss a single track.. you cant't miss the resemblence of Michael Jackson's style in the first song " Music Again " .. and it'll blow your mind thinking that the same vocal cords that function in beautiful harmony with the music in " Broken Open " are the same ones that hit the notes in " sure fire winners " and are the same that give sensational lazy pronunciation in the first couple of lines in " Strut" ..
you wouldn't wanna miss it for the world. Here's the album cover..

Sunday, December 13, 2009

am baaaaack!!

Hey everyone..

i really missed every one of you.. I haven't bloged for quite a while and that's because of this dead boring job i's been keeping me busy 24/7 and it doesnt even have a title , but not any more! i work part-time now and am happy. enough abut my job now.. i have plenty of time to tell you about it later .. am just here to tell you that am back and to check my friends' blogs cause i really miss doing that.

luv ya :)

Friday, January 30, 2009

Honesty Tag..

I got tagged by dear Nani_37

Seems like I have to say 10 honest things about myself and tag others and thank God nani didn’t say how much ppl I gotta tag :)

Here we go..

1 when I have the house all for myself the first thing I do is DANCE . I dunno why I do this but the first thing I do is going straight to the stereo and pump up the volume and start dancing like crazy and singing my head off. I pretty much have my own party..

2 I usually tend to be sarcastic sometimes maybe too sarcastic that it annoy others. Sometimes I really don’t mean to annoy them and some other times I actually do :p

3 I crave ice cream most of the time.. You can’t understand ppl , I mean I love ice cream like I love my mom.. I love it so much that sometimes I wish I have a swimming pool full of ice cream .. Crazy , I know .. lol

4 my ultimate favorite thing to watch especially when I’m in a bad mood is “The Simpsons” .. I just loooove these hilarious yellow fellows .. They’re funny and mean , what more can I ask for.

5 I have the weirdest mood swings ever , one minute I’m having a blast and the second I snap at anyone talking to me in a pretty sharp temper … I honestly don’t know why I do that and a lot of times I regret it :(

6 when Bruce Willis is on TV I just can’t take my eyes off the screen , I can’t even blink!!.. I know he’s old and all , but his smile OH MY GOD!! And the attitude OH MY GOD!! Everything about him OH MY GOD!!

7 I love music a lot but.. I truly HATE watching music videos especially the ones that contain a lot of slow motion stuff.. Sooo lame!

8 I have a passion for magazines!! I can’t go to a supermarket without stopping by the magazine stand, and the moment I lay my eyes on a magazine stand I just can’t leave without buying at least one or two, I just can’t resist ..

9 I secretly and constantly wish that one way or another I slip into a comma and wake up at least after three years, maybe some things will be different then..

10 I have a huge collection of books because reading is one of my favorite things to do in life . But the weird thing about me is I really love books with beautiful covers and sometimes I unconsciously buy books just because they have pretty covers and I find out later that they are not good or not my type of reading!! I also love to buy perfumes with pretty bottles !!

Ok, now that I’m done with my list, its time to tag

I’ll tag:

The extravagate
Living my life
Sth in the air
And Errant though I know you’ve already done it but do it again with 10 new things :p

U guys gotta write 10 honest things about yourself and tag at least four other ppl...

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Reality TV (2)

Statistics showed that my reality tv show was such a success, therefore the decision has been made to publish a second episode.. And here it goes..

It all starts when my father somehow finds out that my sister skipped 2 classes this week so he lets her know in a very clear and loud tone that she’s grounded , no friends, no gym, no malls till the end of her finals. She storms into the room to find me and my little sister watching tv. She closes the door the way you close the door when you want to share a secret, and says “ok, that’s it. I can’t take it any more.. I wanna be free , do whatever I want, go wherever I want, and study whatever the hell I want .. And its not happening in this house.. Girls don’t you see! They are totally controlling us! We have to live somewhere else! Like for example ITALY!!!!!”
And of course me and my little sister are laughing like crazy , I mean seriously.. ITALY?!
She takes off her shoes and starts making a plan to escape to Italy..

She starts talking to me saying “ ok , you know how to transfer money from dad’s bank account to your account cuz you know all the numbers and stuff right?”
I say “right”
She says “ so you should wait until we go to Jeddah in the weekend and you transfer as much money as you can , half to your account and half to mine” then she looks at my little sister and says “ don’t worry , we’ll give you some”

Now she’s talking to both of us continuing her plan “then we have to go to the mall cuz it’s the only place that allows us to be as late as we want and our family wont even expect us to go home early so they wont be checking on us or anything.. You see , we don’t really have to go to the mall , we’ll just tell them that that’s where we’re going. But in fact we’re going to the airport”
Me and my little sister are still laughing..

She goes to details now “ look girls, if you want some other place suite yourself but I’m going to Italy. Anyway , we’ll need to change our names.. Ummm.. Mine will be Guadalupe. and if any one of you tow goes to another country and I want to call her , I should first make sure that the family didn’t find her and then find me when I call her. So I’ll text her first just saying “Guada” and if I get a text back saying “lupe” I’ll know its you girls”

I really don’t know why does that has to be her new name.. I think it’s because of too much exposure to Mexican tv series in her childhood. So I think when the next Arab generations have such plans they’ll use Turk names ..

Going back to her details “ and I’ll buy a belly dance suite and pack it in my hand bag , so when we’re close to Italy , I’ll wear it and when we land in Italy , I’ll dance my way down the plane stairs celebrating my freedom
Me and my little sister are still laughing and she leaves the room with every intention to put her plan to work.

In another day you’ll see me suddenly kick the blanket and stand up on the bed holding the alarm clock in my hand exactly like this..

Then after freezing like that for minutes , I storm out of the room screaming out loud “ OH MY GOD !!.. OH MY GOD!! .. OH MY GOD!!.. It’s 6 and my final exam is 8 and I didn’t study anything , not even one word! ..OH MY GOD .. IT’S 6 .. How could I sleep all that time?? How? How? HOOOOOW?!!!!”
My sister looks at me till I finish all the drama then says “you crazy person ! Look at the window, it’s 6:00 pm

The camera is back to my room , but now it’s 3:00 am and I’m closing my book and going to bed all ready for the final tomorrow..
After a while.. It’s 3:40 and I’m still up and all I can hear is TIC .. TOK.. TIC.. TOK the fuckin clock on the wall.. I try to keep it off my mind and it’s starting to work .. Finally I’ll get some sleep.. But now it’s 4:10 and I can hear a dog barking in the street so I start thinking about how dogs live out there in streets .. Poor things.. The dog keeps barking and now I’m thinking “ok.. It’s not a big deal, it’ll stop now” but it keeps going on and on and on and my anger is building up.. Now I’m pressing the pillow tight on my head but still I can hear it barking.. now it’s 5:00 am and I get off my bed in one move and open the window and stick almost all the upper half of my body out and shout my head off “SHUT UUUUUUUP YOU FUCKIN DOOOG!!!!” and it actually shuts up :)